Should You Persuade Someone Who Doesn’t Love You?
Posted by
jyoti on Tuesday 29 Sep 2009
Rejection in love is most difficult to take. When you feel that you are in love with a particular person, crazy about him and want him to reciprocate your feelings similarly, his disapproval or non inclination towards having a love interest in you can come as a disappointment.
It may create upset, helplessness, frustration, insecurity, sorrow and an increasing need to have him even more in your life. Propelled by your feelings and hope that probably the person may feel interested towards you, you may be inclined to pursue him further. This itself is a courageous and bold step to take as you are taking an emotional risk of being hurt again, of facing rejection again, of not succeeding and feeling the emotional trauma even more.
When you persuade someone, it needs a lot of effort and involvement, emotional engagement, feeling of hope, trust and belief that things may just get better one day. So in a way, you are putting yourself in a vulnerable situation that may have consequences like feeling of inadequacy, poor self image, low self confidence, worthlessness, loss of self esteem and value.
If you are pursuing, do it with a light heart. Do not pin up all your hopes into it. Make it clear to yourself that you will try your best and try a particular number of times only. If the person doesn’t come around by then, then you mustn’t feel devastated by it. The idea is to the hope for the best but also be ready for the worst, to buffer yourself from the rejection.
You may also decide that you shouldn’t follow up with the person as you are terribly hurt by his initial rejection. That too is fair and logical. Let go. But you must not later on develop feelings of guilt and resentment that things could have been better had you chased the guy. Don’t indulge in wishful thinking.
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