Reasons for Failed First Relationship
Many of us have gone through the pain and heartache of a breakup or end of the first romantic involvement. The first relationship holds a lot of emotional importance and it can leave behind scars in the heart when it ends.
The end of the relationship leads to feelings of hopelessness, agitation, helplessness as one is not able to cope with the trauma, and feelings of overall gloom or disappointment may be prevalent. If the relationship involved a lot of emotional and physical intimacy it can be even more difficult to handle and feelings of depression may set in.
The first relationship is the time when the experience of love is discovered by partners. The initial days are filled with enthusiasm, interest, concern, care, empathy, understanding and acceptance of the general attitude and characteristics of the partner. Everything looks perfect, but slowly partners become more aware of their differences, conflicts, touchy aspects and their readiness to adjust may not be there.
So the partners feel that one of them has changed, this is not the relationship one is looking for, the person is different, the differences are irresolvable etc. Sometimes the halo in which partners live during the initial days of the relationship diminishes and they start seeing the darker side in the person. This can lead to grievances, disputes, intolerance, impatience and ultimately lead to a break off.
Also the first experience is such that both the partners do not know how to lead each other, how/when to compromise, how to settle disputes, handle each other’s temperament and habits etc. Some things come only with experience. Therefore the first relationship is like a testing ground, a space for gaining experience, learning interpersonal characteristics, adapting, adjusting etc.
This pressure of the newness, the effort required and the mental strain can lead to a break down after a point of time if partners do not take these roles simultaneously. There is also a bit of immaturity, hype, unrealistic expectations and glamorous idea of love that may create conflicts and scope for separation.
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