How to develop a healthy parent-child bond
A healthy parent-child bond creates a relationship of trust and faith between both, the parent and the child. It facilitates development of rapport, ease of communication, confiding in each other and smoother relationship in later stages of life too. The child derives many benefits of the relationship based on affection, support and understanding rather than that based on fear or threat of the parent.
Parents need to play a pivotal and pro-active role in creating a situation of cordiality and friendliness with the child. Children by default are companionable, trusting and confiding. It is parental reaction to their revelations that determines whether the child will confide in you or not in future. Therefore creating an atmosphere of acceptance of the child is essential.
Encourage the individuality of every child rather than drawing comparisons with others, being skeptical or criticizing their thoughts and attitude. Hearing out children and encouraging independent thought is a must. Appreciate the child for his/her reasoning, different perspectives and unconventional thoughts. This way the child will learn to trust and confide in you.
Do not use force or pressure on children. Children must of course be protected and guarded so that no trouble comes to them; however they should be allowed to voice their opinions freely, carry out activities that they think is necessary for their emotional and creative fulfillment. Do tell them about the pros and cons of their actions but do not enforce your views on them.
Trust your child; be aware and accepting of his/her limitations. Don’t complain about what they are not or set unrealistic benchmarks for them; don’t show them in poor light as compared to other children.
Avoid raising your hand or voice on children. If they commit a mistake, they need to know that; but harsh punishment may not be required to set them right. A child needs to be assured that if there is mistake he/she commits, it doesn’t mean the end of the world.
The parent may be disappointed about it but the child needs to feel assured that there is someone to fall back or rely on. So just express your hurt and pain at what the child has done. This may be well enough to make the child repent and think twice before he/she does anything wrong in future.
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