Are You Really Listening?
Posted by
jyoti on Friday 04 Sep 2009
Listening is an important quality a partner must possess in a relationship. Listening goes beyond hearing out the partner. It involves a sensitive approach, empathy and interest in what is being told to you. Without interest or real inclination to listen, the words of the partner may just fall on deaf ears and the partner may very well guess this.
Listening is not just hearing what the partner says. After hearing out, you need to reflect and think from the point of view of the partner. This will make a difference to the relationship and the level of communication and bonding that you share. By listening to your partner, you gain the trust and faith of the partner and will most likely be reciprocated with the same understanding and maturity from your partner too.
When your partner is saying something, atleast hear it out. Do not block your mind or be biased and full with your own ideas. Do not adopt a one up approach with the partner. Give an equal chance for the partner to voice her opinion and be heard.
If you find the idea disagreeable, say so in a respectful and polite manner. Do not put your self esteem and ego above the partner. Do not undervalue the thoughts and feelings of the partner.
Have patience. This will help you to listen better. Do not show your disinterest when the partner is speaking. Do not act like you are listening or pretend to be a good listener when your mind is blocked and not receiving what the partner is saying. It doesn’t take time for the partner to understand that you are faking interest and are bored with the conversation.
If you cannot listen to the partner, say that you are not in a frame of mind at that moment and catch up the partner later on to know what she had to say.
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